


surely to the sea

by fangirl_squee



Category: Friends at the Table (Podcast)
Genre: Missing Scene, Multi, Sharing a Bed, extremely brief reference to hella/hadrian, spoilers for up to WIH 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-08
Updated: 2019-01-08
Packaged: 2019-10-06 16:26:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17348579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fangirl_squee/pseuds/fangirl_squee
Summary: Missing scenes from boat party’s journey down the river.





	surely to the sea

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Hummingbelle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hummingbelle/gifts).



> written for Hummingbelle for Secret Samol 2018 - I hope you like this!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> thanks to maddie, for betaing and for always

It was Hadrian, unexpectedly, who came to visit him first.

 

“We need a team to go out on Hella’s boat,” said Hadrian.

 

“I don’t like boats,” said Fero, careful not to look up from bundling sticks together.

 

“But you do like Hella,” said Hadrian.

 

Fero squinted up at Hadrian. “So do you.”

 

It was impossible to tell if Hadrian was blushing with the light behind him, but his expression made Fero think that he was.

 

“I-” said Hadrian. He paused, clearing his throat. “Listen. We need a team to go out on Hella’s boat, and whether you like boats or not, you’ve sailed with her before, and she said you were good.”

 

“She did?” said Fero, a little more quickly than he meant to.

 

He flushed. If Hadrian noticed, he thankfully didn’t show it.

 

“Yes,” said Hadrian, “Well, relative to your size and experience with boats. It was still a compliment. You know Hella.”

 

Fero nodded, fiddling with the bundle of sticks in his hand, trying to at least make it look like he was still working on it. He didn’t want Hadrian to go back and tell them all that he just hung out here doing  _ nothing _ , even if that’s what they already thought. 

 

Well. Not everyone. Not Hella, maybe.

 

“Why can’t someone else go?” said Fero. “Don’t you have a town full of heroes in there? I’m sure Ephrim or Throndir would rather go than send me.”

 

Hadrian shifted his feet. “They… have things they need to take care of here.”

 

Fero glared down at the bundle of twigs in his hands, pulling the rope tight around them. “And I don’t?”

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Hadrian’s feet shift again, sending a small puff of dust into the air.

 

“Sure but…” Hadrian let out a long breath. He crouched down, his knee creaking as he made himself head-height to Fero (or, as close as someone of Hadrian’s height could manage). “Fero. I asked Hella who she wanted on her team for this mission, and she said you. Not Ephrim or Throndir,  _ you _ .” He paused. “At least think about it.”

 

Fero didn’t say anything. He heard Hadrian walk away, his footsteps slow as he headed back to towards the university.

 

Hella had asked for him. Hella, famous returned and feared warrior, had asked for him. Hella, his friend, maybe, still, had asked for him.

 

“Wait.”

 

Hadrian turned.

 

“If Hella really-” Fero swallowed. “Okay. Tell her I’ll go.”

 

Hadrian nodded.

 

Fero waited until Hadrian had disappeared from sight before he got up. Another trip with Hella. Okay. He’d better get his stuff together.

 

\--

 

Hella was waiting in front of her ship as Lem approached. He resettled the pack on his shoulders, waving up at her. She waved back, beaming down at him, and Lem smiled back. She seemed so much lighter when they were on the water. Even in Aubade, she’d always seemed happiest when she was out on the ocean.

 

She swung herself down, pulling him into a quick, one-armed hug, a flash of warmth against his side that settled immediately in his cheeks. Hella grinned.

 

“All ready to head out?”

 

Lem nodded. “I think so. I mean, there’s so much to do here but…”

 

Hella put her hand on his arm lightly. “I know but… this is important. And they can’t really spare anyone else.”

 

Lem nodded. “I know.”

 

In honesty, it probably wouldn’t have mattered if they  _ could _ have spared anyone else. Hella had asked him to help, voice tentative, as though he would ever have refused her.

 

Hella nodded stepping back. Her gaze shifted to something behind him, and he turned to see Fero, scowling up at him.

 

“I didn’t know  _ you’d _ be coming,” said Fero.

 

“ _ You’re _ coming?” said Lem, at the same time.

 

They both stared at each other for a moment before turning to Hella. She looked back at the two of them, raising her eyebrows at them.

 

“You can’t  _ really _ expect me to go with  _ him _ on a  _ boat _ ,  _ again _ ,” said Fero.

 

“Oh, as though  _ I’m _ the one who causes trouble on boats,” said Lem.

 

“What?” said Fero, “of course you are!”

 

“I think sometimes it’s me,” said Hella.

 

“Yeah but you always get us out of the trouble you get us into,” said Fero.

 

Lem nodded.

 

“Not like  _ some _ people,” added Fero.

 

Lem half-nodded but caught himself. “Like- you! You do that!”

 

“I just meant,” said Hella, over the top of the two of them, “that in the past we’ve all, maybe, done- sometimes we’ve gotten into trouble. But with- it felt easier to get out my own trouble with you two around, okay? So I wanted you both to come with me for this.”

 

She opened her mouth again as though she were going to add something else and then closed it again, taking a deep breath.

 

“Look, if you guys  _ really _ don’t want to do this, I’ll, I don’t know, I’ll ask Ephrim if any of his guys are any good and take them.”

 

“No! It’s fine!” said Lem, “Right Fero?”

 

Fero made a face that meant he wished he could disagree with Lem but couldn’t, which was Lems favourite expression of Fero's.

 

Well. Top five at least. 

 

“Those guys are okay, but we’re better,” said Fero. 

 

Hella laughed and Fero’s shoulders relaxed at the sound. He grinned up at her.

 

She clapped a hand on both their shoulders, turning them towards the boat. “Come on then. We’ve got a ways to travel.”

 

\--

 

Sailing on a river felt different to sailing on a ocean. For one thing, sailing along the river meant they could stop at land any time. Hella would have preferred not to stop at all, they were a little short on time with the end of the world after all, but it seemed to stop Fero from being so prickly if they were close enough for him to jump ashore and run ahead, or eat a meal on land. He would jump off scowling and swing himself back on hours later, cheeks flushed and grinning, even going so far as to laugh at Lem’s jokes once or twice before he caught himself.

 

It seemed to trick Lem too, a small pause in time where they had forgotten that they were mad at each other. They would grin at each other, or at her, as light as they had been before Nacre. Sailing the open sea with a ship full of drunk sailors, Fero and Lem scrambling around, joking and arguing as they crossed paths over the Kingdom Come.  Hella was trying to not dwell so much on the past these days, but that part of the past… well, that hadn’t been so bad.

 

Stopping on land also meant they could, on occasion, have hot food.

 

Fero leant forward, stoking the fire a little more. Hella set aside the remains of the fish, leaning back against the tree they had set up near. 

 

“We should probably head back to the boat before it gets too dark,” said Hella.

 

“We’ve got time,” said Fero, “We’re right next to it. All we have to do is like, take five steps.”

 

Hella hummed, forcing her eyes open to stay open. Just because they were close to the safety of the ship didn’t meant they  _ were _ safe. 

 

Still. It was difficult to feel as though they could be in danger in this moment, with the sun sinking low on the horizon and the warmth of Lem and Fero beside her, more now that Lem was sleepily leaning against her side.

 

“This is nice,” said Lem.

 

Fero hummed, his eyes slipping closed. “I wish we could have done this the first time.”

 

“We were on the ocean,” said Hella.

 

“Still,” said Fero.

 

The water gently lapped against the side of the boat, just audible over the low crackling of the fire.

 

“I suppose we can wait a little longer before we go back on board,” said Hella.

 

Fero tipped his head back to look up at her. “Thanks.”

 

Lem made a sleepy sound of agreement.

 

Hella let herself have until the fire burned to embers before she made herself move away from them.

 

\--

 

Hella’s boat was actually pretty nice, for a boat. It wasn’t so big that they were run off their feet to keep it going, but it wasn’t so small that Fero was forced into close quarters with certain orcs.

 

_ Except _ .

 

Because it was a small boat, it only had one cabin.

 

And because it only had one cabin, it only had one bed.

 

A double bed, but still. Not really big enough for a large human, a small orc, and a halfling. If it had just been Hella he probably would have offered to turn into a small animal, or spread his bedroll out of the floor, but  _ Lem _ hadn’t offered, and if  _ Lem _ was going to sleep on the bed then he was going to as well, even if he had to push Lem off the bed to do it.

 

“Can you _move_ _over_? Ow! Fero!”

 

“What?” said Fero, in a perfectly innocent voice.

 

“You elbowed me!”

 

“Well maybe you got in the way of my elbow,” said Fero, “It’s not my elbow’s fault.”

 

“You did it on purpose!”

 

Fero pushed himself up so he could lean more into Lem’s space. Lem’s body was warm, which was a welcome thing in winter but was almost uncomfortable during summer, Fero remembered from their time on the road. Lem always stuck close to him, jumping at every noise, and so Fero stuck close to him right back, because it seemed to calm Lem’s nerves.

 

Now though, it made Lem frown, annoyed. Which was, of course, exactly why Fero did it.

 

“Prove it,” said Fero, grinning.

 

Lem didn’t move out of Fero’s space. The moment hung in the air, giving Fero just enough time for it to filter through just how close their bodies were, Lem pressed along his front and the line of Hella’s back behind him.

 

“I don’t have to prove it,” sid Lem, pushing at him.

 

Fero unbalanced, hitting Hella’s side. Hella huffed a breath and rolled over.

 

“Sorry,” said Lem, “I thought you were asleep.”

 

“You two have been pushing each other since we got to bed,” said Hella, “It’s worse than trying to sleep through a storm.”

 

“Well, it’s-”

 

Under the covers, Fero pushed at Lem’s knee with his foot. Lem inhaled sharply, and Fero grinned up at him.

 

“ _ Fero _ ,” said Lem, “stop it!”

 

“Stop what,” said Fero, poking at him with his toe.

 

Lem pulled his leg back onto the bed, reclaiming that part of the bed and almost pinning Fero between him and Hella. Fero squirmed, trying to push at Lem. The only impact his movements seemed to do have was to pull the blankets more towards him. Hella made an annoyed sound.

 

“Will you two cut it out?” said Hella, “I mean, it wasn't like this on Calhoun's ship.”

 

“We never slept together on Calhoun's ship!”

 

“I know that!” said Fero. He could feel his cheeks flush with heat, suddenly glad of the darkened cabin.

 

Hella tugged at the blanket, pulling it more over herself. “If you boys don't shut up I'm going to make both of you sleep on the deck. Captain’s privilege.”

 

“He started it!” said Fero quickly.

 

“What do you mean _ I  _ started it!” said Lem

 

\--

 

The deck was very hard to sleep on. At least, Lem thought, it was a warm night.

 

Fero wriggled, pushing at Lem’s side. “Move over, you're hogging to blanket.”

 

“First of all,  _ you’re  _ hogging the blanket,” said Lem, “I don’t know how someone so small manages to take up  _ so much room _ .”

 

“Hey!”

 

“And  _ second  _ of all,” continued Lem, “it’s your fault we’re sleeping out here to begin with, for disturbing Hella.”

 

“I wasn’t disturbing her, you were,” said Fero, trying to wrap the blankets around himself like a burrito.

 

“You were!” said Lem, “You kept pushing me!”

 

“Well  _ you _ kept pushing  _ me _ ,” said Fero, “You were squashing me with your big dumb body!”

 

“You could have been on the edge of the bed,” said Lem, “I  _ asked _ you if you wanted to be on the edge-”

 

“No,  _ Hella _ asked me, and then  _ you _ made  _ that face _ like ‘oh Hella  _ I _ wanted to be on the edge of the bed’” said Fero, deepening his voice in a parody of Lem’s.

 

“I did not!”

 

“You did so!”

 

“Yes, well, I-I don’t sound like that,” said Lem, “and I thought you would have  _ liked _ being in the middle.”

 

He could see Fero’s cheeks flush pink in the moonlight.

 

“What’s  _ that _ supposed to mean?”

 

Lem blinked. “Well, you… you used to complain all the time about being cold, when we traveled together. That’s why I’d… you know…”

 

Lem waved a hand, trailing off.

 

Fero looked at him for a moment, frowning in confusion instead of annoyance.

 

“I… oh.” Fero paused. “I, um. I wasn’t really cold, I- You were just so jumpy all the time, thinking that Morbash or someone was going to be behind every tree, and it seemed to… I dunno. You seemed less jumpy. When I did that.” Fero huffed a laugh. “I can’t believe you even remember that.”

 

“Of course I do,” said Lem. “Wait. So you weren’t really cold?”

 

Fero laughed. “Nah, I stopped really feeling the winter cold after a couple of years out of Rosemerrow.”

 

“Oh,” said Lem, “Well, sorry for, um. All that.”

 

“All what?”

 

Lem felt his cheeks heat. “Having to be so close all the time. I know you… I know it’s not really your thing.”

 

“I don’t mind,” said Fero quickly. He bit his lip. “It’s… fine. With you it’s… okay.”

 

“Oh,” said Lem.

 

“I mean, normally it is,” said Fero, “when you’re not hogging the whole bed to yourself.”

 

He flopped down, spreading out his arms and legs to take up as much of their bedrolls as possible. He grinned up at Lem, then rolled his eyes, wriggling over to make a more orc-appropriate sized space.

 

Lem lay down next to him. “ _ Thank  _ you.”

 

Fero rolled closer, plastering himself to Lem’s side and grinning up at him. “You’re welcome.”

 

“Fero.”

 

“What, I’m comfortable, this is comfy,” said Fero, “aren’t  _ you _ comfortable?”

 

Lem took stock for a moment. The bedroll under him was lumpy, and a little too hard. The moon overhead was bright, the wind cold. But the rocking of the boat on the water was soothing, and Fero was, when not actively trying to elbow him into submission, actually quite nice against his side.

 

Lem let his body relax, closing his eyes. “Yes. I suppose I am.”

 

Fero’s body stilled for a moment before resuming it’s usual fidgeting. “Well. Good, I guess. Uh. Goodnight?”

 

“Goodnight Fero.”

 

\--

 

Hella had let herself stretch out in the empty bed for a full minute before she pulled herself out and onto the deck. She had a lot of things to do to get the ship running and she had to-

 

She stopped short in the doorway. Lem and Fero were still fast asleep on the deck, curled together in a tangle of blankets, Lem’s arm looped around Fero’s waist and Fero lying half on top of Lem, his face pressed into the crook of Lem’s neck.

 

Her chest felt tight, watching over their sleeping forms. She was glad, she told herself, that they had gotten over whatever it was they had been fighting about. Having her two companions for the journey actually getting along in some capacity could only be a good thing.

 

Hella swallowed hard once, twice, breathing in the cool morning air until her chest loosened enough for her to move. She set about righting their course, checking over the sails, trying to keep her footfalls light on the deck.

 

Fero stirred first, slowly blinking down at Lem, a strange expression on his face. He caught sight of Hella and flung himself backward, pulling the blanket off Lem in the process. Lem groaned, clumsily reaching for the blanket without opening his eyes.

 

“Uh. Hey. Hi. Good morning?” said Fero.

 

Lem rolled over, mumbling what could have been a greeting into the bedroll.

 

Hella nodded. “Long way to go today.”

 

“Need me to scout ahead?” said Fero, his eyes bright.

 

Hella smiled, his joy contagious despite the strange feeling in her chest. “Sure.”

 

By the time she’d guided them close enough for Fero to jump out, Lem was awake, although he still had the blanket draped around his shoulders. When he came to stand near her at the helm, he leant his head on her shoulder. Hella felt her muscles tense.

 

Lem frowned, leaning back. “Are… is everything okay?”

 

“It’s fine,” said Hella, “I… sorry for kicking you both out last night. I hope you slept okay?”

 

“It was fine, he… it was fine.” Lem paused. “I suppose we were both being a little... But I think we’ll be okay for tonight.”

 

The tight feeling in Hella’s chest returned, conjuring visions and Lem and Fero curled together on one side of the bed and her, alone on the other.

 

“Good,” said Hella, “Great.”

 

She kept looking straight ahead, but she could feel Lem’s eyes on her.

 

“Hella-”

 

“Oh, Fero’s signalling,” said Hella quickly.

 

She guided to boat towards the shore, giving it far more of her concentration than she really needed to. Fero was bouncing on his heels, jumping to the boat before it was really close enough, before he pulled himself over the side. Lem made a sound of surprise.

 

“I’m fine!” called Fero.

 

Lem was already heading down towards him, Hella close at his heels.

 

“You really should take better care-”

 

“Oh, you’re one to talk,” said Fero, “You’re constantly getting into trouble!”

 

“I am not,” said Lem.

 

“ _ Con. Stant. Ly _ ,” said Fero, “I mean, Hella and I are  _ basically _ here to be your bodyguards.”

 

Lem frowned, but his shoulders had lost the tension they’d had when Fero had swung himself clumsily on board.

 

“I mean,” continued Fero, “it used to just be  _ my _ job, but keeping you from throwing yourself in danger while you’re out in the world basically has to be a two person job, right Hella?”

 

Hella laughed. “Oh absolutely. And my second job is with Lem, to be  _ your _ bodyguard.”

 

“Wha- hey! I don’t need a bodyguard!”

 

Lem’s expression cleared.

 

“Oh, yes, exactly,” said Lem, “I’m certainly glad to have someone else to help me with him.”

 

“But I don’t-!”

 

“And  _ my _ second job is with Fero, to protect  _ you _ ,” said Lem.

 

Hella blinked. “What?”

 

“Yeah!” said Fero, “we’re  _ your _ bodyguards!”

 

“I have never needed bodyguards in my  _ life _ ,” said Hella.

 

“Well, you’ve got them now,” said Fero, “If  _ I _ have bodyguards and  _ Lem _ had bodyguards, then  _ you _ have to have them too.”

 

“I… don’t think it works that way,” said Hella.

 

“Sure it does,” said Fero.

 

“I think it’s a pattern,” said Lem, “I’m almost certain it is.”

 

Hella huffed a laugh, straightening to her full height. “You know what? Sure. You’re my bodyguards too.”

 

\--

 

“And there’s like a  _ huge _ outcropping of rocks like, a mile ahead, so I asked the crabs there if there was any water stuff we should know about and they said it was pretty chill. I don’t think they see people much, maybe never? So we’re probably pretty good for the next day or so,” said Fero.

 

Hella nodded. She wasn’t looking at him, eyes flicking from the horizon to the sun ahead to the patch of land in the distance, keeping their course, but he could tell she was listening. She had been a good listener before, always giving him at least half an ear when others would tune him out entirely, but since she’d returned from Aubade she was more focused somehow, as though everything people told her was vital information.

 

More changed since Aubade was Lem, who was, astonishingly, actually listening instead of just pretending to.

 

“They’d  _ never _ seen  _ any  _ people?” said Lem.

 

Well. He still got caught up in the parts that he wanted to. But he’d definitely heard the whole thing, his focus on Fero the whole time Fero had been talking. Fero had tried not to look at him. That much focus derailed his whole train of thought. Just like it was right now.

 

Fero nodded, buying himself some time to get his thoughts back in order. “Yeah! They said they’d  _ heard _ of creatures like us but they’d never seen any.” He paused. “Although, I guess I don’t know how old they were. Maybe they were super young crabs.”

 

Hella hummed. “Even super young crabs would know, this time of year. Start of the crabbing season.”

 

“Right, yeah, exactly,” said Fero. He paused again, to give them both time to absorb that information. “So that means that we’re probably safe enough to have dinner on land tonight, right?”

 

“You don’t need to eat,” said Hella.

 

“Yeah, I know,” said Fero, ‘But I definitely prefer the smell of cooked food to whatever those rations are.”

 

“Oh,” said Lem wistfully, “hot food sounds lovely. And it does seem like it’s going to be quite safe.”

 

Hella hummed again. “Yeah. I guess. Unless those crabs are liars.”

 

“I don’t think so- hey!” said Fero, breaking off with a laugh as he saw Hella’s grin.

 

“If you say it’s safe, then it’s safe,” said Hella. She turned the wheel slightly, turning their course more inland.

 

Fero stepped backwards, his sea legs not quite returned after a day on land, and Lem put a hand on his shoulder to steady him. In the same moment, Hella reached for his other shoulder.

 

Fero felt his cheeks flush. It was possible the other two wouldn’t notice. The looked like the wind had blown their cheeks pink too.

 

“Thanks,” said Fero.

 

“No problem,” said Lem.

 

Hella nodded.

 

Their hands remained, warm, on Fero’s shoulders, as they sailed towards land.

 

\--

 

“I mean, I know you can’t eat it,” said Lem, “but this is  _ much  _ better than the rations.”

 

Fero leaned forward and took the piece of fish from Lem’s hand, popping it into his mouth.

 

“Hey!” said Lem.

 

“I never said I  _ couldn’t _ eat anything, just that I don’t  _ need _ to.”

 

Fero reached for another piece but Hella caught his wrist. “If you don’t need to then you can help us save on rations.”

 

“Yeah, yeah, I know,’ said Fero.

 

He paused, looking down to where Hella still had her hand loosely around his wrist. Lem followed his eyes, feeling heat creep into his cheeks. He swallowed.

 

“Um,” said Fero.

 

Hella dropped his hand. “I- Sorry, I guess I- sorry.”

 

“It’s fine,” said Fero.

 

The firelight illuminated his flushed cheeks. He leant forwards, poking at the fire, although it didn’t really need stoking.

 

Hella looked down at her meal, then up quickly at Lem, then back down at her meal again.

 

Lem cleared his throat. “Well. That was, um, a nice meal.”

 

“The bit I had was pretty good,” said Fero.

 

“Thanks?” said Hella. “I mean, I know I’m not much of a cook, but fish I can do.”

 

“You really can,” said Lem.

 

Hella smiled at him, bumping their shoulders together. Lem bumped back.

 

“I mean, I am from a fishing village,” said Hella, “It’s kind of a requirement.”

 

“That doesn’t mean anything,” said Lem, “Fero’s from Rosemerrow and he can’t cook any of their dishes.”

 

Fero leant back on his hands, tilting his head back to glare at Lem. “Hey! You don’t know that! Maybe I’ve just never cooked for  _ you _ .”

 

“Can you?” said Hella.

 

“Nah,” said Fero. He laughed. “And then after I left it was like, well I don’t need to eat anymore, so learning to cook seemed like kind of a waste.”

 

“You’re not that bad with this sort of thing,” said Lem, gesturing at the campfire.

 

Fero tilted his head at Lem, considering. “Oh. Uh. Thanks. I guess I got a lot of practice with you when we were heading to Velas.”

 

“I… wasn’t that much help with cooking,” said Lem.

 

“He was  _ terrible _ ,” said Fero.

 

“I was very inexperienced,” said Lem, defensively.

 

Hella laughed. “Yeah, I guess not much cooking in the Archives.”

 

“Not really,” said Lem, “Or, I mean, unless you were in the kitchens or it was part of a Pattern, and I was more musical Patterns.”

 

“Yeah,” said Hella, gesturing at Lem’s violin, “I guess if you wanted to cook you could do it with that.”

 

“...Huh,” said Lem, “I guess I never really… hmm… I mean, oh! Maybe. Maybe! I could try it next time.”

 

He could picture it, the song he had yet to discover, sparking the perfect temperature of fire, weaving flavour into the fish as it cooked. Perhaps he’d even let Fero have some this time, just so he could see how good it was.

 

Lem leant back against the tree, feeling the warmth of Hella against his shoulder, of Fero at his knee, a future pattern of music beginning to form in his mind.

 

\--

 

“Can you two  _ please _ stop moving?” said Hella.

 

She rolled around to face them and immediately wished she hadn’t. Fero was lying half on-top of Lem, the startled expression on his face mirrored in Lem’s expression.

 

“I… you know what, maybe  _ I’ll _ sleep on the deck,” said Hella.

 

“No, wait,” said Lem.

 

“You seriously expect me to try and sleep next to you guys, while you both-”

 

“Both what?” said Fero.

 

Lem had flushed a deep green. “He was just pushing me! It- I- we weren’t  _ doing _ anything!”

 

“What else  _ would _ we be- oh. Oh! No, it’s- okay, so I totally get that it might  _ look _ that way-”

 

“You  _ get it _ ! What’s  _ that _ supposed to mean!” said Lem, “I wasn’t doing anything!”

 

“Neither was I!” said Fero.

 

“Well it looked it maybe you both  _ wanted _ to do something,” said Hella, trying for businesslike, “and if I’m not a part of it I should probably-”

 

“Well obviously you’d be part of it,” said Lem.

 

“Listen, we wouldn’t kick you out- wait what?” said Fero, at the same time.

 

Hella went very still. She felt like she could feel her heartbeat pulsing through her body.

 

“...Part of it?” said Hella.

 

Lem’s eyes went wide. “Um. What I meant was- that is- with it being your ship, and um. So anything that we were a part of here would be with your full… uh.”

 

“Wait, part of what?” said Fero, his eyes flicking between the two of them.

 

“Yes Lem,” said Hella, “part of what?”

 

Lem covered his face. “Please forget I ever started that sentence, or any sentence, really. Forget I ever said anything at all.”

 

“That’s kind of hard to do,” said Fero.

 

“Yeah,” said Hella faintly, “especially this specific bit.”

 

Fero took a deep breath. “I’d kind of like to hear the rest of it, actually. Um. Hella?”

 

Hella nodded.

 

Fero leaned in closer to Lem. “You can’t tell because you’ve got your eyes closed, but she nodded.”

 

Lem opened his fingers a little, peeking through. “You did?”

 

Hella nodded again. “Yeah.”

 

“Well,” said Lem.

 

He took a few breaths. Fero’s leg was bouncing, adding another small movement underneath the rolling movement of the water beneath them. Hella wondered if they could hear her heartbeat in the silence.

 

“I meant,” said Lem haltingly, “That um. Things… listen I know things aren’t great, right now, generally, but when I’m with the two of you it’s like I forget about that. And I… I don’t think so much about all the ways things are going to go wrong, because I know the two of you will notice before it gets too terrible, in the way that I am not good at noticing, and so I- I suppose I’ve been thinking about that, while we’ve been traveling, and then I thought about…” His blush deepened. “Well. It’s very easy to be around you both. It’s very easy to think about being with you… being with you all the time.”

 

Fero let out a long breath.

 

“Yeah,” said Hella faintly.

 

Lem huffed a laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “So yes. That’s what I meant, I suppose. By part of. If that makes any kind of sense.”

 

“No, it does, yeah,” said Fero.

 

“Yeah,” said Hella, “That’s… it’s easy to be around you, too.”

 

Lem didn’t look up, fiddling with the blanket between them. “So, um. What-”

 

“Being part of it sounds good,” said Fero, “Hella?”

 

Hella nodded.

 

Fero put his hands over Lem’s. “She nodded.”

 

Hella covered both of their hands with her’s. “I did.”

 

Lem looked up, biting his lip. “Oh, well. Good, that’s… good.”

 

Hella huffed a laugh, leaning towards him. “Yes, it is.”

 

It was just a light brush of their lips, but all three of them gasped. She could feel Fero’s hand tighten around Lem’s. She pulled back, giving Fero the room to lean forward to kiss Lem. Fero’s free hand hovered next to Lem’s face for a moment, his fingertips just brushing Lem’s cheek before they broke apart. Hella gave him the space for a breath before he bent towards him, kissing him as lightly as she had kissed Lem.

 

“So,” said Fero after a moment. “That’s what it’s like to be part of it.”

 

Hella smiled, leaning back and pulling Fero with her. “That’s what it’s like.”

 

Fero curled in-between then, one arm stretched over Lem and the other over Hella’s waist. Lem hesitated, pressing a quick kiss to the top of Hella’s head before she felt him settle back. She rested her cheek against his shoulder.

 

It was much easier, she thought, to fall asleep this way.

**Author's Note:**

> come say hi: mariusperkins on most places


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